Ever wondered why it’s so damn hard to keep new years resolutions?
You know the declarations you make in that silly-season haze between Christmas and new years, feeling energised and invincible with the promise of a blank canvas of a fresh new year laid out before you.
Well when was the last time you kept your resolution anyway? . . . Thought so.
That’s because it is not the time for resolutions.
Resolutions generally get thrown out along with the dried up christmas tree every year.
The gym membership gathers dust, the new toys you got don’t get used, the new diet barely lasts a month and before you know it, you’ve slipped back into the old bad habits that you so desperately are trying to break free from. How soul-destroying is that? It’s exhausting and frustrating just thinking about it!
And it’s not that you don’t have good intentions. In fact you have the BEST intentions, but resolutions are setting you up for failure.
Because they are generally set from a mind frame of punishment, ie/ lose 20 kilos, cut out chocolate, quit smoking, – they are set in the negative, and tend to focus on things to stop/quit/reduce, as opposed to creating something brand new from a positive mind frame, and from a space of possibility. OR they are just un-obtainable wishes that have no grounding or framework to back them up and set you up for success.
Resolutions have an inherently low-vibe energy around them, and are often created as an act of punishment instead of self-love.
Goals on the other hand, are directly linked to your core values, your deepest desires and to your life vision.
They are meaningful to you and therefore you are deeply connected and inspired by them. They are specific, measurable, realistic and timely – meaning you know when you’ve hit the mark! They are far more rewarding and satisfying than an elusive resolution, that, 9 times out of 10 only makes you feel like a failure before you even start.
Don’t worry you’re not alone – I’ve done it, we’ve ALL been there. We set new years intentions that light us up – big changes, grand plans – and we have full belief we will stick to it, but a few months down the track they have lost their sparkle, you no longer feel excited by them. They fizzle out, we let them slide and our big grand dreams die. It’s often because you aren’t really connected to the deeper layer of WHY you’re setting that resolution. Without understanding, or connecting to your WHY, it makes it near impossible to follow through with your well meaning resolutions.
The worst thing? When you inevitably miss the target, and fall off the bandwagon you beat yourself up and punish yourself. The voice in your head has a field day; “See I can’t stick to anything” “I’ll never be able to lose this weight” “Why is my willpower so weak?” You can fall into a downward spiral of self-loathing, dis-empowerment and apathy.
If your story is “I can never follow through on anything” then setting new years resolutions only sets you up to fail, and strengthens that negative belief about yourself. That neural pathway gets stronger and stronger, making it very difficult to believe anything different about yourself.
Have you ever wondered what’s at the root of your resolutions? What drives your ambitions? Have you ever peeled back the layers enough to see what launched a new promise — and why you saw it through or let it go?
– Danielle LaPorte
So as we enter this brand new year I urge you to start thinking about the goals you would like to set for yourself for the new year and beyond. Goals that will inspire you, stretch you, and challenge you. But most importantly, goals that you actually want to achieve!
Understanding what really drives your goal-setting is crucial for identifying the intentions that will light you up, and grow you up.
You set goals because you love yourself and want to see yourself flourish, not because you want to punish yourself, or prove others wrong.
See the difference there?
I have been setting goals (on paper) for over 10 years now – much longer if you include the goals in my head! Most of us have a vague idea of the things we want to achieve, but a whole new power comes when you put pen to paper and write those goals down.
Setting SMART goals and assigning them to a by-when is a total game changer. You put yourself in the drivers seat of your world and start to feel a new found energy, inspiration and drive to achieve them. Plus a whole heap of satisfaction, pride and self-confidence once you achieve them (not to mention changing all those neural pathways and bad habits).
But you know the age old saying, it’s not your goals that are important, it’s WHO you have to become in order to achieve them. Never forget that, it is a journey, a process, a beautiful unravelling of your souls path, and to get caught up in the end result can destroy some of the magic. Plus, often things work out WAY better than you can ever imagine anyway!
So grab your favourite journal, make yourself a cuppa and nestle down to spend some quality time with yourself.
You’re about to go deep-diving into YOU.
– HOW TO CRAFT YOUR BEST YEAR YET –
Q/ What is your grand vision for your life this year?
Q/ How do you want to feel?
Q/ What tangible parts of your vision can you create goals around?
Q/ How will you set yourself up to win?
Q/ How can those big goals be broken down into quarterly, monthly and weekly goals?
Q/ What rewards are you going to give yourself when you achieve your goals?
Enjoy this process of going within, look at it as an adventure into yourself.
Remember that your goals are yours, so you can change and edit them as you see fit. There is no such thing as failure, and sometimes removing a goal you no longer feel connected to or inspired by is the best thing you can do.
As you can tell, vision crafting and goal setting are some of my favourite topics – so if you have any questions, or need some support in this process I would be so happy to help you – simply shoot me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Reply below with your biggest goal for this year, I’d love to hear what is lighting you up.
Happy goal-setting gorgeous!
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