What a massive week it’s been for me spiritually.
I feel like I’ve been stripped naked, scrubbed clean, and re-birthed. Like I’ve had a spring clean from the inside out.
A total roller coaster of a ride emotionally, yet I feel a powerful renewal and liberation.
I like to see my spiritual guru every few months, for a check in, a spiritual tune-up. I thought we would dive into what’s going on for me right now, talk about some guidance that spirit has for me, and send me on my merry way. You know, the usual deal (which is awesome by the way!).
Man, I was totally not expecting what happened in that reading. . .
In the first 5 minutes she warned me we were going DEEP, and that’ she would need to see me again in ten days. This has never happened before. I was intrigued and a little scared of what was to come. So I buckled up, took a deep breath and dove right in there with her.
And deep we certainly went!
She took me through a past life regression, dealing with soul level blocks that I’m carrying into this lifetime. Now this is not something I have a whole heap of experience with, and to be honest if she had of told me this story a few years ago, I probably would have laughed and rolled my eyes a little. But, because of the incredible trust and faith she has built up with me over the many years I’ve been seeing her, it totally landed. 100%.
The story goes . . .
I was a mermaid in Norway, there was tragedy at sea, a dolphin protector, Pirates seeking treasure, death, guilt, a shark attack, guilt & lost love.
Now, because I was a mermaid, I have a strong affinity with the ocean in this lifetime. I miss the sacredness of the ocean, the constant touch of the water. As soon as I came up onto land I felt the starkness, the coldness. I’ve been longing for the loving touch of the ocean again, and for this reason, physical touch is the way I sense love in this lifetime. I also crave a love as deep as the ocean. (Every word, every sentence of this was like an epiphany – my heart was screaming YES! YES! YES! This is SO spot on.)
We discussed who in my present life is the energy of these past life characters, and how my relationship with those people has been effected by our experience together in this past life. She explained how I’ve compensated and crafted limiting beliefs for myself based on this history. Crazy huh?
It was an utterly fascinating story (it would make a killer movie!), but what hit me most was not the story itself, but the intense emotional reactions I was having to the story. It’s like every sentence she said, every new detail she uncovered – was hitting me straight in the heart.
It didn’t make logical sense, and I can’t explain it, but at some soul-level my body knew this to be true. I FELT it in my bones, and it came flooding out my eyeballs.
In the whole 7 years I’ve been seeing her, this was by far the most epic session I’ve had.
Everything just made so much sense, like the penny had dropped.
Clarity hit me like a freight train.
I was comforted, relieved, and I’m excited for what lays on the other side of this clearing.
Archangel Freyja came up in my spiritual reading (pictured right). She is the nordic earth goddess of celebration, passion and fertility. I was told she rides a chariot drawn by cats over the rainbow bridge from earth to heaven. She is independent, bold and completely unafraid of her sexual power. In one word, she is a minx. I mean just look at her! #reow. She is here to help guide me through this healing and transition, what a side kick!
I was told that over the next ten days I would experience some strange things; bodily aches or pains, I might feel suddenly sick for no reason, digestion problems, heart palpitations, having vidid dreams, and emotional outbursts. But not to worry, as these are all signs that spirit is purging and cleansing these old limiting blocks. It’s a soul level cleansing and healing intensive.
She was right.
I’ve had really tight muscles, and I’ve been having the craziest most intense dreams (and I normally rarely remember my dreams), and some random aches that seemed to come from nowhere.
It’s been a rollercoaster of a week, last week’s blog was all about my huge cry session, this week’s is about exploding anger. I have felt like a crazy person at times, floating up out of my body and looking back down at myself saying ‘Jules, what the hell is wrong with you?!’ It’s been pretty amusing really.
I’ve taken her advice, and been very gentle with myself since. Taking my time with things, trying not to rush. Doing gentle exercise, eating good foods. I took myself for a remedial massage the other night. I’ve also been journalling, incense burning, oracle card reading and meditating. It’s been a delicious menu of self care, gentleness and nourishment.
To go even deeper, I thought why not get some kinesiology while we’re at it? A new friend of mine has an incredible practice that combines her skills in counselling, kinesiology, nutrition and coaching. Now THIS was something I needed to try.
So I drove on over to her place, she had a beautiful set up going on – hot tea waiting for me, a big comfy chair, crystals for me to hold and a gorgeous black cat to pat. I immediately felt it was going to be a good session.
Within the first few questions she had me in tears.
I was not expecting it, it really came as a surprise (although given my week it really shouldn’t have been!). We dived straight into past emotional traumas that I really thought I had dealt with. But in recounting the story to her, and re-experiencing the hurt, the sadness, the loss, the anger – I could feel my throat closing up, the heat in my cheeks increasing, and the tears just came rolling down.
Now this was an incident from over 6 YEARS AGO!
One that I thought was well and truly done and dusted. That chapter had closed, it was no longer effecting me (or so I thought).
I had done so much work on this area already, it was out of my mind, but as I was to realise, not yet completely out of my heart.
She explained it to me like this: I left a piece of me back there, 6 years ago, and have been living my life ever since not completely whole. Not 100% myself. It was effecting my relationship with myself; my self love, my confidence, my sensuality and my feminine power. So ultimately, effecting not only my relationship with myself, but with every guy I’ve met since. No surprise that I am single then, really.
We spoke about mantras, what foods to eat, what lingerie to wear (really), how to bring more joy and fun back into my life, and ultimately – how to reclaim my missing piece.
I left feeling like I’d had a massive catharsis; I felt lighter, clearer, and a big sense of relief came over me.
I now feel like a whole new person, like I’m shedding my skin & am in the process of clearing the old stagnant ways that were blocking me.
I’m heading back for round #2 of my spiritual reading this afternoon, and I’m almost gagging with anticipation. . .
I’m SO ready to be done with the past (both in this lifetime and in others). Bring on the healing, and the powerful shifts that will surely follow.
This is my time.
For a star to be born, there is one thing that must happen: a gaseous nebula must collapse.
This is not your destruction.
This is your birth.