I have been feeling disconnected of late, like I have lost myself a little bit. So it was time to do something for me, to re-fill my cup and nurture myself. I took myself to see my spiritual healer, the equivalent to a big warm soul hug.
She said a lot of me feeling off-centre was to do with accepting and embracing my ‘inner-child’. That I had made choices that didn’t support her. That I was allowing things in my life that didn’t support her. That I was in turn doing myself, and her, a dis-service.
To be honest, when the whole topic of my inner-child surfaced, it had me mentally rolling my eyes and scanning for the door beyond the haze of incense. “Here we go” my ego was whining, preparing to enter into this woo-woo mind field. Despite my initial reaction, I reminded myself to remain open and inquisitive as I do trust her, and have always gained so much gold from our sessions together.
I’m not a big fan of regression techniques – you know, looking at our childhood and past experiences to explain/heal/understand our current circumstances. To me it has always felt too much like a cop-out (partly I guess, because I was lucky enough to have a good upbringing). The whole thing has felt very Freudian; as if by placing the blame on the past we then don’t need to take responsibility for our present. And I guess I had always assumed that the whole inner-child jazz was along a similar vein . . . But what I realised is that your inner-child it’s not about that at all.
She picked up on a real sense of stagnation felt deep within me. I was told that an inner shift wants to occur & that I’m fighting it. This struggle and disconnect are what’s causing the flatness in my mood.
My soul is yearning for change, and my ego is fearing it.
To shift out of that stagnation, she suggested I get a baby photo. And when I look at that photo – to really get a sense that this baby has come into my life right now. I was to imagine that this little version of myself was with me all the time. And that she needed to be nurtured, loved and protected. That it was my responsibility not only to look after her, but to do my best by her – show her the best life we could lead. So it was infact ALL about the present moment, there was no regression into the past.
I started to imagine this baby and pictured her innocence, her beauty, her wonder. The work is about acknowledging her and all her beautiful qualities.
Who is this beautiful girl thats just been born?
What is it that she wants to do?
I guess I liken my inner-child to having a travel visitor with you; you want to show them the very best of what’s on offer. You take them to all the cool sights, really explore all the greatness that’s on offer, show off your city or countryside in all it’s glory. Yet, perhaps without that visitor with you, you could easily sit in your lounge room for the afternoon instead. After all, you can do those things any old time. And you’ve got stuff to do today anyway. And your favourite show is on soon. And you should really do some house work right?
It’s the classic scenario; we’re very good at letting ourselves down, because that’s OK, it’s only us. But we’re not so good at letting others down. We don’t want to disappoint, we don’t want people to think badly of us. We deem other people (or more importantly, what other people THINK) to be more important than ourselves. Others hold us accountable to our actions, yet we easily let it slide with ourselves. (This is why I like to schedule sweat buddies! I am less likely to miss a workout when I know a friend will be there waiting for me. Try it – it works)
So after my session I’ve realised it’s time to start again. It’s time to show my inner-child the world and what I want for her.
“Show her all the best things life has to offer!” my healer beamed.
As cliche as it may sound, my work right now is about bringing her into my life. Accepting and embracing her.
I need to remember that this mini-me is with me all the time. It’s about showing her all the beauty that exists in the world. So when I’m about to choose a thought or action, I will think about her best interests and put her needs first.
I choose to think a more loving thought, a more inspiring action, a higher self belief.
I’ll take the upgrade for her. . . and we will both benefit.