Time to get real (isn’t it always?!).
I’ve been in a bit of hole the past couple of weeks, in fact it’s been a BIG hole. A crater even.
After a couple of personal events including a break up, family illness and the end of a friendship – I let myself slide into a state of deep sadness. I flat lined, I felt like the life had been sucked right out of me. I had nothing left. I started to question everything in my life! These few weeks felt like a lifetime as I started to wonder if I would ever get out of the hole I had fallen in.
Now, with the magical gift of hindsight I wanted to share with you a little reflection on this experience. It really was a great lesson!
Grief and sadness are important emotions. Heck, ALL of our emotions are important. I’m in the practice of removing judgement from emotion; the traditional belief that positive emotions such as happiness, joy and elation are good, and that negative emotions like anger, sadness and grief are bad.
A friend has a tattoo on her arm: “To feel is to be alive”. To feel is to be alive. So simple, yet so profound. I just love it. We are human beings with a multitude of varying emotions to experience, they are all just as beautiful and valid as each other yet why do we limit our focus to just a handful? Why is it some emotions are placed on pedestals, and others are swiftly swept under the rug?
We can be SO quick to try and move ourselves (and those around us) out of the so called ‘bad’ emotions. A typical interaction plays out like this –
Q: ‘How are you?’
A: ‘Great /fine thanks / I’m doing OK / not bad’
These are our general automated responses. They literally come out of our mouth without thinking, we don’t even realise we’re doing it they are cultivated on such a subconscious level. Not to say you want or need to pour your heart out to the check out girl, or the barista handing you your morning coffee – but let’s get real with the closer people in our lives yeah?
It’s important we don’t numb ourselves from our emotion and what it’s there to teach us. Ie/ Anger is there to teach us that our boundaries are being crossed, that something in us is being threatened, it’s there to alert us to protect ourselves. Sadness is there to teach us to s l o w down, and let go.
In our society we tend to sedate our feelings with medication, food, alcohol, drugs, social media, busy-ness – anything to keep us from feeling what’s actually going on inside our bodies and hearts. Because that would be too painful to deal with right?
I remember reading an article by Danielle LaPorte last month on personal power, and the words stuck in my mind:
“I call all of my power back to me now. I am whole and complete.”
“LIFE. It’s all energy. You know this. When we give energy away willingly, intentionally, with positivity, we get stronger. We become truer, purer, bigger. Power-full. When we give our energy away unconsciously, under duress, as we are victimized, or taken advantage of, when we over-give out of a sense of deficiency or obligation, we … don’t get stronger. We constrict, we get depleted, we start to stiffen from fear.” – Danielle LaPorte
In hindsight I felt as though my energy was one of those crazy leaky hoses spraying wildly around the garden. I had definite energy leaks! I had let my energy be directed outwards, towards other people – the ex that had hurt me, the fear around loosing my loved one to illness, the disappointment I felt losing my friend. . . and that’s exactly when I lost touch with ME.
My amazing life coach spoke has spoken to me about upwards and downward cycles, and it was so clear to me that I had purchased a one way ticket to shit-ville. I was heading down, down, down, digging myself deeper and deeper into that hole. I decided to re-direct my energy, and bring it back to myself. The moment I made that choice, the shift in my emotions was pretty much instant.
It wasn’t as simple as clicking my fingers and BOOM my mindset switched. But I drew upon my trusty tool kit – all grounded in self love. I focused on ME and started to reclaim my power bit by bit. I took myself for long walks on the beach, I meditated, I read books that inspire me, I took myself for a floatation tank, I surrounded myself with great people (and lots of crystals!), I took myself to yoga, and funily enough a girlfriend offered me a ticket to a full day Self Love workshop! (don’t you love how the universe serves up exactly what you need – thank you!)
After a weekend of drawing upon my tool kit I woke up on Monday morning and literally felt like a weight had been lifted. I felt lighter in body and in spirit. I felt like myself again. I had my energy restored. I was finally out of my hole! Hallelujah.
Start to notice when you make these shifts in yourself. Ask yourself –
What thought patterns did you change?
What actions did you stop, or start doing?
What activities gave you a boost?
Self awareness is the key, use this innate knowing to aid you with your own shifts.
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